It's A Draw
by leiaah
Summary: Can the opponents beat the challenge that clearly favours only one of them? Who will come out the victor? Is it going to be Konoha's Prideful Green Beast? the Artist? or the Wood User? Oneshot, crackfic.


**Title:** It's A Draw

**Style:** Oneshot, crackfic.

**Characters:** Deidara, Gai, Yamato, and Lee.

* * *

The artist, Konoha's Prideful Green Beast, and the wood user, all stood facing each other in a triangle. Gai glared at both of them with passion rising all around him.

"I call the first challenge!" he said in his boisterous attitude.

The artist narrowed his eyes at him, and the wood user glared in response.

"It will be a race!" Gai said proudly, "See all the way there?" Gai pointed out to the distance.

There about five hundred meters out was a person similar in appearance to Gai wearing a frilly pink skirt on top of his green jumpsuit, jumping around and waving in exaggerated female-like motions. The artist and the wood user strained their ears and heard the young boy wailing in mock-fear.

"Oh someone! Please save me!" the boy shouted.

The artist's eye twitched, and he stared at Gai as if he was mad. The wood user's eyes only widened even more.

"Lee is acting like a woman in distress! This challenge determines how fast we can get to a person in need if we were in a mission!"

"This is so stupid, un!" Deidara said his eye twitching at the scene five hundred meters ahead of him.

"This is a challenge of stamina, speed and responsiveness to a situation!" Gai clapped Deidara on the back, and smiled at the blonde, his teeth shining in the light.

"If you say so, Gai-senpai," Yamato said, getting ready at the starting line.

Deidara shrugged and joined Yamato.

"That's the spirit men!" Gai gave them a thumbs up, and a tooth-shining smile.

"H'm..." Deidara rolled his eyes, and crouched to get ready to sprint.

Gai leaned forward, stretching his legs out, and arms in turn, then crouched placing his hands by the line.

"Alright men! On my go!" said Yamato, looking to his left at the other two.

"Yeah," grunted Deidara.

"Right!" said Gai.

"Oh someone save me! Please somebody save me!" Lee screamed in exaggerated distress.

Yamato sweat-dropped before counting.

"On your marks... Get set... GO!"

A cloud of debris and dust engulfed both Deidara and Yamato before they even had the chance to stand up and sprint. Once the dust cleared they saw Gai standing triumphantly next to Lee holding a thumbs up to both of them. Lee was jumping and clapping.

"Looks like I'm the winner, men!" Gai shouted over.

"Gai-sensei!!!" Lee screamed with pride, "I knew you'd make it Gai-sensei! You're the best!"

"Good Lee! Very good! You must always praise and thank your saviour!" Gai, looked over to the flailing boy.

Two perfect waterfalls streamed out of Lee's eyes, flowing down his face, he frantically pulled out a notebook from the hem of the skirt, and wrote down something.

Once finished and putting away the notebook Lee looked lovingly at his sensei, "you're always teaching me important things Gai-sensei!" the boy bowed his respects.

Gai's eyes glistened, and soon he had two perfect waterfalls streaming out of his eyes as well, "oh, Lee!"

Gai hugged the boy. The pair could hear seagulls and waves crashing all around them. They broke apart and Gai laid a hand on Lee's shoulder, and pointed to the scene away from them, a scene that only they could see.

"Thank you for your co-operation Lee! Go, go run into the sunset with all the passion and the burning flame of youth!"

There was no sunset to be seen. In fact, it was only noon.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee voiced his agreement, with fire in his eyes, and in a second he was out of sight.

500 meters behind Gai, Deidara watched with his eye twitching violently, and Yamato stared with blank eyes, sweat-dropping. Gai ran back to them, and claimed himself winner to them, again. Yamato blinked once and shook his head, and swatted the back of Deidara's head, who coughed and snapped out of his trance-like state.

"That's not fair, un! That's cheating, yeah?" Deidara grunted, glaring at Gai.

"Nonsense! Maito Gai does not cheat!"

Deidara thought quickly, "Whatever, my turn to choose the next challenge, h'm!" he glared at them looking for any signs of objections but found none.

"What's the challenge then?" Yamato sounded a bit bored.

"Breath holding challenge, yeah." Deidara said, he thought again, how could he make this seem mission related? A light bulb switched on in his brain, "it's to prove how long you can hold a fight or a struggle underwater, yeah!"

Gai quickly became excited, "but of course! Alright then!"

Deidara reached into his clay pouch and pulled out three nose clasps. He handed each one to the other two. They put them on their noses, and hung open their mouths to breathe.

"On my count, un," Deidara said with nasal voice. "One... two... three... go!"

All three closed their mouths and held their breaths. Deidara had a mischievous look on his face, he unclenched his hands, and faced the palms towards his body. The mouths' tongue hung out, and started to take in air, breathing for Deidara. Deidara had to stop himself from smiling as he 'held his breath'. Deidara watched as Gai and Yamato slowly turned red, knowing his complexion remained unchanged, the mouths on his palms smiled as they continued breathing for him.

Soon enough Yamato breathed out, coughing, closely followed by Gai. They watched Deidara stand before them comfortable with the lack of oxygen. Gai's jaw dropped in disbelief as five minutes passed, and Deidara still was unchanged.

"Enough! You proved you're the winner," Yamato said annoyed now.

Deidara smiled, and closed the mouths of his palms, opened his mouth, and pulled out the nose clasp.

"I win, un!" as if it wasn't obvious enough, but Deidara was still happy about it.

"Excellent boy! As punishment for my failure, I shall do one thousand push-ups! Now! Count for me Yamato."

Gai dropped to the ground and started on his push-ups, although Yamato didn't start counting. Deidara's eyes followed Gai, and in the few seconds that Gai did the push-ups he'd surely done over fifty. Yamato tutted, and quickly pulled Gai up.

"You can do this later Gai, challenges first."

Gai looked beaten, but he thought he'd have Lee join him, yes, he'd enjoy that.

"My turn to chose... and this one is to determine how quick you can make a shelter out of nothing when you're out on a mission and have lost your back-pac," Yamato said cooly.

"Excellent challenge, Yamato!"

Deidara grinned, he knew he'd win this with his clay.

"Alright then, let's begin!" Gai said.

Deidara immediately turned away from the two, as to not expose his mouthed-hands so he wouldn't lose the point of his previous victory, he stuck his hands in his clay pouch to mould out a house.

Gai quickly sprinted off in every direction leaving a line of dust, smoke, and debris following him. Yamato, looked at Deidara who had his hands in his pouches, then looked at Gai sprinting off in every direction.

He smiled to himself and put his hands together before saying, "_Mokuton: Shichuuka no Jutsu."_

At that second wooden walls errupted out of the ground before him, connecting and making a two floored house.

Deidara's hands stopped molding their cabin out of clay and he looked over his shoulder to see a huge house in front of Yamato. Deidara's hands gagged on the clay, and spat them back into the pouch as Deidara turned around stunned. Despite being hypocritical he looked angrily at Yamato and shouted.

"You cheated, un!" Deidara pointed an accusing finger at the man.

Yamato lifted his eyebrows at the young blonde, "how's that cheating? I didn't have anything with me, so... I was within the rules of the challenge!"

Deidara scowled in stubbornness, "h'm," he sat himself on the ground, cross-legged and arms crossed, still glaring at the enormous house. He had to admit to himself, Yamato's jutsu was quite artistic, but he'd never voice the opinion.

Gai soon came back sprinting with a bunch of sticks, and various sized branches in his arms towering above him in an unstable pile. He peered to the side of the pile and saw the giant house, and dropped them all in shock. They came down on him in a heavy clatter and was soon burried in a mass of sticks and branches. Gai punched a hole through the top, his head sticking out, and looked approvingly at Yamato.

"Good game, Yamato! Excellent work!" He shot him his tooth-shining smile, and a big thumbs up.

Yamato crossed his arms in accomplishment. He then put his hands together and the house disappeared in a puff of smoke.

_Beautiful,_ Deidara thought, _his art was just so fleeting._ He smiled and his respect to the man rose a bit.

Gai tumbled out of his stack of wood, and joined the rest.

"Well," he shrugged, but still sounded pleased, "I guess it's a draw!" he smiled to them one last time before turning away, "I must go train! This is unacceptable of me!"

"B-but, we need to make a tie breaker, yeah!" Deidara protested.

Yamato grinned at the young man and simply said, "I don't think we can come up with more challenges that suit our favour," and he walked away.

Deidara looked ahead to Gai who was walking away, almost out of sight, then behind him to Yamato who disappeared behind a corner. Then he looked to the ground where the house had previously occupied, he crossed his arms tighter and grunted.

"H'm."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Can we dismiss the fact that Deidara is an S-Class missing nin? To those who may have already read it, I edited it to make Gai more... Gai-y. Thanks to a review from an anonymous person :D

**Translations:**

**Mokuton: Shichūka no Jutsu:** Wood Release: Four Pillars House Technique.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** As much as I hate to write these, (because they're so pointless, and because I obviously wouldn't own something as great and awesome as Naruto) ... I don't own Naruto, or any of the said characters. Lalala.


End file.
